The '80s ushered along the idea that if you were a professional wrestler, you could also be a professional actor. I grew up on Hulk Hogan movies, and now a new generation is growing up on Dwayne "No Longer The Rock" Johnson movies. I thought I would take a moment to compare their film careers and decide who comes out on top. Both men began their careers by making appearances in two different film franchises.....
Rocky III vs. The Mummy Returns
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Hulk Hogan as
Thunderlips: The Ultimate Male
Somehow "Thunderlips" doesn't strike fear in me from someone who's supposed to be "The Ultimate Male". The granny panties don't help either. I would have enjoyed seeing more footage of arena security guards getting thrown around at a charity event. He does get bested by an 5'9 Stallone, who (with movie magic) throws him out of the ring.
The Rock as
Mathayus: The Scorpion King
Kind of a kickass ring to it. Sort of invokes the idea of a man who commands the scorpions to do his bidding, Willard-style. That never happens though and it is a movie in the Mummy series.
Winner! Mathayus: The Scorpion King
Even though Thunderlips didn't have to sell his soul to Anubus in order to face Rocky, he is overshadowed by Clubber Lang in R3. The Rock is the only watchable part of Mummy Returns.
No Holds Barred vs The Scorpion King
Hulk Hogan as Rip
I assume as long as story pitches to Vince McMahon end with "and he's a wrestler" then the meeting is deemed successful. I do love this movie though. As a kid, I wanted to believe that I could one day be strong enough to burst out of the top of a limousine and fight the bad guys. I think the brilliance of this movie can be summed up with this scene. Hogan's acting is at its finest:
The Rock as
Mathayus: The Scorpion King
This time around, he's got his own movie. None of Stephen Sommers' cheesy direction and no Brendan Fraser yelling "I hate mummies". It's not a bad start for a action film career. You won't commonly see a wrestler in a business suit their first time out at the box office, so a loincloth film isn't out of the ordinary. It's a fun watch for FX on a Sunday.
Winner! Hulk Hogan as Rip
I gotta call guilty pleasure on this one. No Hold Barred gets funnier and more absurd every time I watch it. I don't get as much out of Scorpion King. Also, I do believe Zeus would destroy Memnon in a fight.
Stay Tuned for Part 2! Suburban Commando vs The Rundown
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