Actual Taglines From Chuck Norris Movies

You cannot deny the brilliance of a Chuck Norris Movie. He's had a resurgence as a pop culture subject in every form possible lately so I thought it would be fun to look back at some of the great taglines of his many action films. Here they are in all their glory:

Chuck Norris explodes across the screen!    

A town without justice. A hero without fear  

Don't Muck Around With An 18 Wheel Trucker. 

A Bean Store Dolly and  Million Miler...They Had an 18 Wheeler...And A Grudge.  

The C.I.A can't afford John T. Booker...alive.  

He hears the silence. He sees the darkness. Only he can stop the killing 

In a world of choices, for one man there is no choice...he must face THE OCTAGON 

Chuck Norris is Scott James, who must face the Ninja, the unholy masters of terror in... The Octagon 

The Ninja, unholy masters of terror. No one will admit they still exist. 

Only one man can stop them 

Chuck Norris doesn't need a weapon... he is a weapon! 

What makes an ex-cop take the law in his own hands? 

He's an indestructible man fused with powers beyond comprehension. An unstoppable terror who in one final showdown, will push Chuck Norris to his limits. And beyond.

Martial Arts Master Versus Superhuman Killing Machine! 

Science created him. Now Chuck Norris must destroy him. 

A walking weapon that never misses! 

The "Mad Dog" Criminal...The "Lone Wolf" Lawman...The Ultimate Showdown

Chuck Norris is Lone Wolf McQuade. David Carradine is the man that got in his way. When Norris meets Carradine all hell breaks loose! 

The war's not over until the last man comes home 

Chuck Norris is back! A one-man time bomb set to explode! 

A prisoner too strong to hold. A soldier too dangerous to let go. 

Eddie Cusack's a good cop having a very bad day.

The toughest cop in the world...just got tougher.

America wasn't ready... but HE was! 

They don't negotiate with terrorists...they blow them away!

A pair of down-and-out fortune hunters cash in on high adventure!

Heroes hit hardest.

Norris and the force are back.

He's so far undercover he may never get back.

A dreamer and a champion. An unbeatable team...Until his hero stepped out of his fantasies to fight at his side.

Mess with this Chicago cop and there's hell to pay.

A Chicago cop is about to face his worst nightmare... Only this time it's real...

One's tough... One's smart... Together they unleash explosive action!

They're licensed for action!

A mythical warrior and a group of adventurous kids must battle the odds to save the wilderness.

A magical mountain... A mysterious legend... A story of courage... Against all odds.

No mission is impossible.

Terrorism just met its worst enemy.

Tragic Ends To Some Of My Childhood Memories

This post is a bit of  depressing one. I was looking back at some of the films I loved as a kid and discovered many tragic tales associated with the stars of many of them. Here are a few that stand out that were not highly publicized.

Savannah Smiles - 1982

  This was one of my little sister's favorite movies as a a child. She was usually watching this or The Sound of Music constantly. I sat down at some point and watched it with her. I got pulled in and I've been a fan ever since. It's the feel-good child abduction film of the decade. For anyone who remembers it, I lose it when Savannah waves goodbye to Bootsie and Alvie. Bootsie says "I hope no one tells her we were bad guys" and Alvie replies calmly "It won't make no difference."

 It's an incredibly sappy film but who cares, I love it. I still have The Wild Bunch at the other end of the spectrum to balance it out. 

      The very sad thing I discovered is that Bridgette Anderson, the actress who plays Savannah, died of a drug and alcohol overdose in 1997 at the age of 21.  To imagine someone who represented the a great example of the joys of imagination and childhood innocence go down such a horrific path is depressing. If she had just listened to this song, perhaps things would have turned out differently. 

The Land Before Time - 1988

I went nuts for this movie after seeing it at the Laurel, MS $1 theater. I had the Pizza Hut puppets and then later the VHS. My favorite character was Ducky, the little Parasaurolophus.  Every animated film has to have the cute character with the catch phrase that every child across the country mimics. If you don't remember it, I'm not saying it here, Nope, nope, nope.

The very sad thing I found out in college (after watching the film yet again) was that Judith Barsi, the voice of Ducky, was killed along with her mother by her father. Pretty damn horrifying story if you choose to read about it. Judith had finished voice-over for one last film, All Dogs Go To Heaven, which was released after her death. 

The Monster Squad - 1987

Obviously in my top 5 movies of the 80's. I was overjoyed when it finally came out on DVD. They did a screening here in Los Angeles not too long ago and I got to hear director Fred Dekker come out and talk about it. I admit, it feels a lot like The Goonies. I never cared as a kid and I was saddened when Take Two Video's copy broke and they didn't get a new one. 

   Everyone's favorite Monster Squad member was Fat Kid a.ka. Horace. He's responsible for uttering the two most famous lines from the film:

          

And who could forget..

   Everyone likes to see the underdog kick ass by the end of the film. Sadly, tragedy strikes again. Brent Chalem, the actor who played Horace, died of pneumonia at the age of 22. I'm sure he would have enjoyed the cult following his work has garnered over the years. A shame indeed.

Stephen King's It - 1990 (TV)

 Terrifying TV movie I watched with my Dad back in 1990. Its still creepy to this day and I read that its being remade (that an issue I'll tackle another day). Jonathan Brandis made his big breakthrough in this one and became a huge success as a child star. He graced the covers of both Beats (Tiger and Teen). He starred in a number of other semi-successful vehicles over the years and found himself where all child stars end up, adulthood. He popped up in a few decent supporting roles in Ride With The Devil and Outside Providence towards the end of his career. Sadly at 27, he hung himself in his apartment. I think he would have done well continuing to play edgier roles and leaving his teen idol status behind. It's shame we never got to see it. 

        Now that I've depressed all of you, use this to pick up your spirits.